Dream A Little Wedding
by Starry Eyed Escapist
Summary: This is a little something me and some others are doing. Each of us use the same summery and write our own version. Edward dreams he gets married to Gretchen, and tries to avoid her, which proves impossible. D: R&R adn look out for the others!


"Briiiiiiiiin!"

Edward arm flew from under the covers to slap the alarm clock, managing only to knock it off of the side table. Now it lay on the floor, still ringing obnoxiously. Edward grumbled and threw back the covers, rubbing the crust from his eyes. He swung his leg over the side of the cot, his foot landing on the alarm clock, His foot recoiled, pain shooting up his leg and tingling up his spine.

"Yow!" he cried out, holding his foot.

He checked the underside for any damage. None. But it felt as though he had taken a chunk out of the bottom of his foot. He gingerly stood and limped over to his armoire. (Yay

French words)

He pulled open the doors, revealing the shrine to his mother and his uniforms. He scrutinized each outfit, finally choosing one that looked just like all the others. He stepped into his shorts and slid into his shirt. He grabbed his ascot and fastened it, hooking the Camp Kidney Bean Logo pin into the front. He fondled the pin for a moment, feeling the cold smoothness and admiring its value. Before he had faked having every badge, but this was something he did earn himself.

Edward turned away from the armoire and headed out to begin the days tribulations.

He got only a few steps away from the stairs when he was suddenly being restrained by something warm and furry.

"Edward! I'm so happy for you!" came Lazlo scratchy voice.

Edward wriggled out of Lazlo's death hug and brushed himself off. "Get off of me monkey boy! And what the heck are you talking about?" he asked peeved.

"The wedding of course!" Lazlo blared, opening his arms wide as if to give another hug.

Edward stared in confusion. "Wha-what wedding?"

"Yours and Gratchaaaaaans!" Lazlo chirped.

"WHAT?!" Edward shrieked.

He turned to escape the rambling chimp, but he almost fell over a pew.

"Wha-?" Edward looked himself from the feet up, his heart racing and his skin feeling as if he was lying in a bed of thorns.

He'd some how become dressed in a black tux with the shiny shoes and the corsage. His head felt tight, and he realized his hair was even gelled down. He spun around nearly face to face with a priest. He could see Gretchen standing a comically large and poofy wedding dress next to him.

"Lumpus?!" Edward inquired quite loudly.

"Do you, Beaver boy, take angry crocodile, to be your wife?" Lumpus recited in monotone.

"What? NO!"

"Good, you owe me $500." Lumpus said, holding out his hand.

Edward screamed, as there was suddenly immense pain to his right hand. He looked over to see Gretchen lying in a hospital bed looking very, very constipated.

Frantically he looked around the room, expecting the church, but finding a small hospital room and a lot of doctors.

"Push!" instructed the doctor reaching between her legs.

Edwards's stomach lurched as he looked away, but then he heard crying. He looked up towards Gretchen who now cradled three little platypus crocodile babies.

"Say hello to daddy!" Gretchen cooed, holding the babies towards him. "Aren't you going to hold Greta, Gary, Edna?"

Edward screeched.

"Noooo! Oh my god nooooo!"

He grabbed his arms and squeezed his eyes shut, panting and frenzied.

Something wrinkly, raisin like brushed against his arms.

He opened his eyes, and there Gretchen was again

She had more little mutant children on her lap, three platypus crocodiles that he suspected where his children, gathered around.

He looked himself over, rambling madly.

"NO! NO! Wheres? What? Who are you people!?"

"You were a good man dad"

He looked over to who had said that, which turned out to be one of his children, now dressed in all black. They were all dressed in black now, crying. He looked around, seeing that they were all in a graveyard. Some how he was seeing himself being lowered into his grave.

He shrieked and shrieked. His body jolted and he sat up.

He was panting and sweaty and his ran his hands all over his body, checking. He looked around. He was in the musty cabin, light filtering in through the coniferous trees. He sighed, his heart slowing back to normal.

Edward rubbed his head and climbed out of bed. He shuffled over to the armoire, shaking. He pulled open the doors, revealing the shrine to his mother and his uniforms. He scrutinized each outfit, finally choosing one that looked just like all the others. He stepped into his shorts and slid into his shirt. He grabbed his ascot and fastened it, hooking the Camp Kidney Bean Logo pin into the front. He fondled the pin for a moment, feeling the cold smoothness and admiring its value. Before he had faked having every badge, but this was something he did earn himself.

Edward turned away from the armoire and headed out to begin the days tribulations.

He got only a few steps away from the stairs when he was suddenly being restrained by something warm and furry.

Edward panicked and flew out of his arms.

"WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED!" he shrieked.

Lazlo stood a few feet away, his arms lowered to his sides.

"What? I was just gonna say good morning." He said, deeply confused.

Edward looked around to see other campers, staring. He laughed nervously and ran for the shore. He paced the beach, his head full of worry.

"Get hold of yourself man! You ain't getting married to none!" he said in a desperate attempt to reassure himself.

"Hey Edward" came an all to familiar voice.

Edward tensed up, his skin prickling. He whirled around to face her.

"Look crocodile, we're NOT getting married. And I'm not going to have three kids named Greta, Gary and Edna!" he shrieked.

Gretchen took a step back.  
"What are you talking about?"

Edward turned and ran back up to the camp.

Lunch rolled around, and all day Edward had been marching around like a zombie. He didn't know it until it was too late that Kidney and Flats where going to into town for lunch and such.

He leaned his head against the window, watching the trees flash by and the Safety of Kidney slip away. He sighed. The whole trip there he kept seeing what looked like Gretchen, walking down the street, mailing mail, walking a dog, pushing a stroller. Edward closed his eyes tight, but then he saw her image in his head. He felt the bus lurch to a stop, and every body got up and file out. He followed, keeping his eyes on the sandy floor of the bus and his lethargic feet. As soon as he stepped off, a large hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Edward I need to talk to you about something."

Edward swatted his hand away.

"I don't owe you $500!" he yelled and made a mad dash towards the picnic shelter.

Lumpus stared at the crazy boy.

"I just wanted to know where he buys his shampoo at. It's freesia fresh!" Lumpus said as his tapped his fingers together. A fantasy of him dancing atop clouds with flowing, freesia scented hair wafted through his mind.

Edward slowed down once he reached the picnic tables panting. He took a seat and buried his head in his lap with a groan. ((out of context, that could look very wrong.))

"Hey Edward!" Lazlo greeted.

"Go away" Edward mumbled.

'I just wanted to ask if you wanted to sit by me and-"

"Fine, what ever. Go away."

Lazlo skipped off.

Edward sat up and looked around, the Squirrel scout bus was emptying out. He got up and ran to the lake. It wasn't Leaky Lake, but rather Arid Lake. He took a seat by a log and sighed. He heard voices, and looked up. Patsy, Nina, and Gretchen were coming his way. He shot to his feet and ran off in the direction of the playground. He stuffed himself into one of the tubes and waited for every one to just go away. He eased up after a few minutes of listening and loosened up.

"I can't hide here forever! I have to do something."

Then came the same voices again.

"No, I think peach would be a very nice color."

"Baby blue would be for elegant."

"Forget both of them! I think red would be the best"

"Red? Nobody uses those colors"

'oh no! Their choosing colors for the wedding dress!' Edward thought.

He darted out of the tube and ran, faster than the wind, over to the picnic table.

He stood near the coolers where Slinkman and Doe where having a nice conversation. Odd how Lumpus wasn't there.

"Ed!"

Edward nearly jumped out of his skin as he whirled around. It was only Chip.

"What is a four letter word for stupid?"

Edward glared. "Skip" he growled.

"Thanks Edward" he said, walking away with the crossword puzzle he was holding upside down.

"Hey Edward" he spun around then froze.

Gretchen was right in front of him.

"I wanted to ask you something."

Before she could say, he ran again.

"This isn't happening!"

He looked back and Gretchen was over by the lunch table where it was being served. He suddenly ran smack into something. He fell to the ground and looked up. It was Lazlo again.

"C'mon Edward! It's lunch time!" Lazlo said cheerfully, dragging him by his arm.

"NO! NO I can't go!" Edward pleaded, dragging his fingers into the dirt.

Too soon did they come back to the picnic tables. Lazlo dragged him through the line, then to the tables. They sat, then the table filled up. Lazlo sat on one side of Edward, Raj across from Lazlo, clam across Edward, Patsy next to Clam, and then Gretchen, right next to Edward. Nina sat on the other side of her.

Edward tensed right up, staring at his chips. The whole time no one spoke to him. Only Lazlo asked Edward things like, "Right Edward?" Of "You remember that Edward?' ed only nodded along, never taking his eyes form his chips. Finally every one finished.  
"finish?" clam asked Edward.

He shook his head, and Clam inhaled his lunch.

Every one left the table, only Gretchen stayed behind. Edward suddenly stood up, but she grabbed his wrist.

'Wait! Edward!" he said.

He had no escape. He slowly turned towards her, biting his lower lip.

"I need to talk to you."

He stared.

"Okay, um. My boy friend, Trent, is coming to Kidney I want that you show him around and make him feel welcome." She said quietly.

Edward felt as if a huge weight had been lifted, but somehow, he felt like a little was stil left on his heart.

"Your, boyfriend?"

She nodded, looking right at him.

"Yah, he's a crocodile too, so you'll recognize him easily."

Edward nodded slowly.

"Yah. Yah, I'll show him around."

"Thanks" she let got of his wrist and stood up, then walked away.

Edward stood where he was, staring at Gretchen who walked away.

'Maybe, maybe I don't dislike her all that much. Maybe I do like her, but a wedding was a little to extreme right now.' He thought.

He didn't know whether or not he liked her, but either way, she already had a boyfriend. He looked back over the picnic tables, deserted. He sighed then shoved his hands in his pockets. He pivoted on his heel and headed straight for the swing set.


End file.
